Give Yourself Less to Complain About

I found myself hungry for more “slow mornings” like a Saturday morning with the hour in my chair with a hot cup of coffee and mindless chats with Coach. Then I found myself complaining that the other mornings weren’t slow and peaceful like Saturdays. I caught myself frustrated with my weight and how clothes fit after Christmas break. (The one where we ate fast food and fancy restaurants and traveled for 14 days straight.) I was feeling overwhelmed with daily tasks and feeling defeated no matter what I was doing. I found myself complaining in my head about how off task my class was one morning. I found myself complaining. I can’t handle a complainer. It was me. I was the complainer.

So in 2024 I told myself I was going to give MYSELF less to complain about. I was going to give myself more slow mornings so I am not complaining that I don’t have a Saturday every day. We make an effort to get up earlier to sit in our chairs and chat each day. I am no longer the person that can get up and start getting ready immediately. I need the slow morning in my chair, and I need to set the alarm for a few minutes earlier. I am not going to complain about how my clothes fit or don’t fit if I am making the effort to eat balanced meals and get a daily workout in each day. If I am feeling overwhelmed and not productive, prayer is usually needed and less mindless scrolling the internet. That off task 5th grade class, well the next day they had some stations to move around the room and a little project to complete. They just needed an engagement activity and I can make that happen.

There are things we can do to for ourselves to keep from complaining. With this being said, there are ABSOLUTELY things in life that happen and they are out of our control, and these things we can text our best friend and report all complaints. But to lesson my personal complaints, this year I am giving myself less to complain about.

2024 is full of my Happy Place Only. No complaints here.

How We Fight

If there was a reason this little corner of the field was started, this topic MIGHT be it. If we are friends at all then you may already know this about me: My marriage is the most valuable thing to me. Before everyone goes all Mama Bear on me….. yes, my children are THE most important people in my life…. but because of THEM, my marriage is SO IMPORTANT. You can pretty much take everything away from me…. but don’t touch my marriage or my children. So what do you think is the first thing that Satan will attack? This is why I pour prayers and prayers over my marriage. Plus, Coach is the GOAT and deserves that for sure.

Did you know that your children are going to likely grow up and treat their spouse like they see you treating your spouse? Ummmmm….. no pressure. Did you know they will think it is OK to be treated like your spouse treats you? Ummmm….. even more pressure. This is why Coach and I fight like we do. Because one day Cart and Calla will fight with their spouse like we do. Our grandchildren will be raised in homes that WE are setting an example for now. So. Much. Pressure.

So you BEST believe it I am going to focus on how we fight.

It would be INSANE for me to sit here are say Coach and I do not fight. We do. We don’t always do it correctly. In fact, when I started writing this post I asked Calla if her Mommy and Daddy fight and she said yes. Then she started acting it out. “Brandon! I have so much to do. I will not get it done. How can you sit there?” “Ok, what do you need me to do? I will do it!” And y’all. I am ROLLING. If this isn’t me and Coach….. nothing is. See, I am the run around 100mph. Coach is the “I’m resting until you tell me what needs to be done and then I am going to do it.” But it wasn’t always like that.

I would say in the last 5 years we really had to work on communication. But not only communication but more like, accepting what is being communicated and fix it. For example: It drives Coach crazy how I load the dishwasher. He was constantly making comments about it somewhat in a funny way, but it was really starting to drive me crazy that he had something to say every single time. So I yelled, “Listen! You come home from practice to a dinner EVERY SINGLE night. I have our children at my side the whole time I am cooking. I am sorry the dishwasher is a mess. SORRY!” He listened to that. He hasn’t mentioned the dishwasher. In fact his response was, “Just pile them ups in the sink and I will load it.” Communication with response.

Yes, the dishwasher is a super simple argument. However, I am HERE to say, we used the this method of argument in a much bigger disagreement. It was a disagreement that was all of two minutes long because of communication.

If something bothers you, no matter how big or small. Communicate that. If you communicate your feelings and no changes are made, I am a firm believer that THAT is the problem. Not your feelings. Let your children see you communicating that. Let them see you fight and how you fix it. How you and your spouse treat each other is how your children will treat their spouse, or allow their spouse to treat them. You GOTTA get this right.

Purpose

When I started this corner of the field I knew it was on my heart to have a place to share thoughts and life. I spent 2023 looking and searching for my purpose. When Coach and I started dating, I knew we were living his dreams with this coaching life. He tells people many times that I married a Coach. We go where he is called. It has just always worked. Until my heart needed to find purpose. I am ABSOLUTELY positive I was made to be a Coach’s Wife. I am ABSOLUTELY positive I was made to be Calla and Cart’s mama. I am ABSOLUTELY positive I was made to be a teacher. It is the last one that I had to make sure. So I started praying about it. Then social media made it clear.

I am ABSOLUTELY positive I was made to be a Coach’s Wife Mama Teacher.

Friends, social media is FULL of teachers complaining. It is no secret that we are in a teacher shortage. So many people have so many thoughts and ideas. But I am here to be the opposite. My purpose is to build up the public school system and I will pray about that purpose daily. When I was asked this summer what I wanted to do for education, I said this: “I want everyone to know how amazing it is. If they don’t think that, I want to convince them.”

When I see people talking about wanting to stay at home with their families, I want to support them in that. If that is their purpose. Here is what is on my heart: if that is EVERYONE’s purpose, who will love the children that go through public schools? Who will love and teach and pour into MY children? Be the public school you want your children to be a part of… if that is your purpose. If not, that is OK! But if it is…. THAT IS OK, TOO!

Let’s be friends. Let’s pray about fulfilling the purpose we are meant to fulfill. Let’s work together to use our gifts and talents like never before. Let’s be the classrooms everyone wants to be in. Let’s change it. Let’s find our purpose and OWN it.

This weekend I hard this: your purpose is what you can get lost doing. You lose all sense of time. You could do it daily. All I know is this: I can be Coach Cain’s wife and support him daily and it never gets old. I do need a break and go on Weim walks when I need a break, but I can be his wife forever. I can be Calla and Cart’s mama every single day and it is my absolute favorite. Sometimes I need a mama moment and just need to sit in the car in silence to not hear “mama!” but I can truly be their mama forever. I can teach 5th graders about reading, talking, and just life every single day. Sure, I need a Monday off. I love summer breaks and all the breaks between, but after the breaks…. I am ready to see them. This is how I KNOW this is my purpose. I am convinced it is OK to have a purpose as a Wife Mama Teacher and all while wearing some CCTM pants. Don’t let the negativity change your heart. Use your talents.

I just pray that it is yours, but if it isn’t. THAT IS OK. I PRAY your find yours.

Thankful For This Chapter

If you know me in real life you have probably noticed that I ONLY talk about life in chapters. Swifties call it their “era” but this coach’s wife is just thankful for the chapter. Because after 17 years of this little life I have learned some lessons about loving the life too much. Then God turns the page. So you will ALWAYS see me giving thanks for the chapter we are in, because let me tell you, it sure is a good one.

See I have accidentally fallen madly and deeply in love with this chapter. We have the most precious ( to me) home. Our jobs. Man oh man we BOTH love our jobs. My small business. Our children’s friends. Our church. OUR friends that are really family…. so so so good. However, I know the heart God gave Coach and I. I know the name of this game. Tomorrow the page could turn and God could be ready for us to write a new chapter for Him.

“There comes a time when you have to stop chasing the coaching dream and settle down.” See, I hear this quite often. I even let myself feel it from time to time. But then I remember, that wasn’t what we were made to live. We were made to live…. something different.

I know Coach’s heart, but more importantly, I know God strategically puts the Cain family right where He needs us. Even though I love this little life more than I ever have before, I have full trust that if we need to move to another chapter, it will be even better. It has to be. See, I loved our little life in the first town we called home. I loved with with my whole heart, and then things changed. A door was shut. We moved and man did I love that (not so little/ but really big) town. We were Atlanta residents and living our best lives. We lived closer to our families than we ever had…. than another door opened and brought us here. No matter how my heart has loved each and every chapter, they truly just keep getting sweeter. If I have anything to share, or any platform to stand on, or any faith at all to share it will be this: God knows where He wants you to be. It hurts to leave, but man oh man writing that chapter gets even sweeter! If you are in the “moving to a new place” season of the coaching life, I am here for you, friend. I can promise you…. the chapters keep getting better and better.

Sweet Spot

I have been really trying to stop and take in the tiny moments and give praises where praises are due. My personality is rather positive and happy. However, I sometimes forget this and find myself going down a spiral of “when will this change?” Then last week Cart Cain walked up to me as I was sitting in my recliner with a cup of steamy coffee near the glow of my dream Christmas tree that is topped with a tree topper of a bow that was sent straight from Heaven…. and he said, “Mommy, I’m hungry. Can I have some pepperoni?” Ummmmmmm THIS is the sweet spot, I told myself. I am in the sweet spot of parenting.

Calla went to her bedroom to work on a school project on her own and study her vocabulary words…. and I thought…. oh THIS is the sweet spot. Coach cleaned the kitchen while I gave Cart a bath and got Calla’s clothes and lunch ready for the next day. Oh. THIS is the sweet spot. I sat in my chair and had our Weim pup in my lap, and our old Weim at my feet…. OH THIS is the sweet spot. I paid our mortgage, filled our cars with gas, and meal planned for next week. OH THIS is the sweet spot. We have our tiny home that is filled with more love and laughter than I could have ever imagined.It’s the sweet spot. As for my job, I walked into my classroom and knew what I was going to teach, laughed with my 5th graders, taught small groups, and grammar lessons, and went over informational writing… oh THIS IS THE SWEET SPOT! I had Friday night dinner with my favorite ladies, and we laughed until we cried… OH THIS IS THE SWEET SPOT! Coach Cain LOVES his 8-3. and Coaching life is thriving. (This means we are not on the carousel!) HELLO SWEET SPOT. Church. I have found a church home that I can’t wait to enter every week, and I love finding more ways to be a part of the building. My very own sweet spot.

It was all of these simple daily moments that made me realize THIS IS MY SWEET SPOT of life. BUT with this being as real life as I can be…. even in the sweetest of spots…. we have faced some hard spots recently. Our family was hit with situations that are awful. When we bring them up to each other sadness and anger fills the room. I have relationships in my life that need work and honestly are just not good. Hard spots. They seem to make appearances even in the sweetest spots.

So when you find yourself in a hard spot, also look for all of the tiny sweet spots.

What Would You Talk About

You know that post that says, “You have thirty minutes to talk about something you are passionate about without any prep time. What would you talk about?”

Easy.

1. Putting Jesus first and your husband second and then your children is a MUST. With this being said; Never take advice from someone you wouldn’t swap places with. You’ll never ever change my mind on this.

2. Being a Coach’s wife (just one Coach, friends. NOT COACHES.) is the best. You’ll never ever change my mind on this.

3. Public schools are the BEST schools in the world. If you do not like them, join them. Make the changes you want to see so you do like them. You’ll never ever change my mind on this.

4. Children are the best coworkers. Adults…… ehhhhhh. You’ll probably never change my mind on this. If you do, my time in the profession is ending.

5. Reading to your children is a MUST. Church attendance is a MUST. Parenting and not friending your children is a MUST. Whew. Don’t hate me. You’ll never change my mind in this.

6. Cooking for your family is possible, even in the busiest seasons of life. You may change my mind on this one day. But not today.

7. Adopting dogs is just better than shopping for dogs. We recently added to our family. Another Weimaraner. She is the sweetest, cuddle cozy pup. She is straight out of a rescue where she was saved from a dumpster with her sibling pups. We have two Weims now and they are both from a rescue. They are just different. So thankful. You’ll never change my mind on this. Even if you are searching for a particular breed of pup, I encourage you to search the web. We have two full Weims and we saved them both from rotten situations. Do your part: Adopt don’t Shop.

Welcome to the Cain Crew, Nat.

Love,

Coach, Carley, Calla, Cart, Wynn, and Nat.

(The really cool thing that I take pride in about myself is if you don’t agree with any of my POV, it is OK. I totally still love you. In fact, I want you to try to change my mind because I LOVE hearing someone else’s perspective. I love seeing someone else’s views and hearing their why.)